The story is due for a name change when it's migrated to the SoG wiki.
This is currently V3 of this story. It isn't finished, so keep that in mind.
Oh, and this is literally the longest thing I've ever written in my life.
The service was short, but the mood was grim. No matter what I did... it wasn't enough to save her. I did everything in my power, but I couldn't save her. She is dead and I couldn't save her. It... was all my fault...
No!, I told myself. You couldn't do anything to save her, even if I'd tried harder.
I knew what I had to do. It was the only way...
I had the rope ready. It didn't take long to position it. It took longer to write the note, than to tie the rope. I looked at the clock. 3:19 A.M. Kristan would be long asleep by now. She was 8 at the time. Losing her mother would have to be tough. It'll be harder for her to cope with another loss, especially the loss of her father. It seemed selfish... but... I couldn't go on...
3 months later
I was finally let out of... that hellhole of an institution. I couldn't deal with it... so they marked me as insane, unstable... crazy. What they didn't know is that I had hidden knives, axes, and machetes around my house. No, I didn't attempt suicide again, if that's what you were wondering. I had a plan.
I had met a satanic man in that institution. He promised me that there was a way to bring my wife back. He told me that it was risky, and only a crazy man would do it. I wanted to... no... I needed to do this. I was told that it involved killing people. Women, in fact. Of the same race, within a decade of her age. So a Caucasian woman, between the age of 22 and 42. Seemed easy enough. A virgin's blood was the final thing needed. I felt upset that I had to use Kristan's blood...
The first kill was the easiest... but the hardest. I cried while I killed her. She was 25. She was only twenty-fuckin'-five! After she died, I took her left arm. Perfect. First part of the body.
When I killed her... I died on the inside. Not as if. I was disappointed, no. My soul had died.
You can't keep doing this!
Yes you can.
You're going crazy! Snap out of it!
My mind was in an argument with itself. I knew I was crazy... or damn near it.
The next was difficult. She had a knife. She stabbed my shoulder before I snapped her neck. I took her right leg. Only part of her that wasn't too badly cut.
My third kill wasn't too hard. Strangled her with a piece if rope. I had scratch marks on my arm for weeks. The bitch tried to fight back. I took her right arm as a prize.
Perfect, I thought to myself. I only need to get two more girls... then... I can stop the madness.
Getting a gun was easy, living near a well populated city. That gun would be used for ill things...
I didn't kill for another 2 weeks. I had a special target in mind.
I'll be back soon, a voice said to me. It was her voice.
"I know, dear", I replied. I had been hearing these voices for weeks now. It was maddening.
Two Weeks Later
Tonight was the night. She was within reach.
The target was a dinner party. A small one. I knew about it by intercepting mail, and by listening in on conversations. There were only 4 people going. 3 women, and 1 man.
They're going to fucking die. I plan on shooting all of them. In fact... I plan on having a meal tonight. The forbidden delicacy.
It was 8:30 before I knew it. I had to get moving.
Please don't kill them. The voice was back.
"I have to. I need you back", I replied.
The party was formal to some degree. I opened fire on them. They didn't know what was happening. The man survived the assault. He looked at me.
"Why are you doing this?" He started crying. "I dont want to die! You're a sick fuck! Please don't kill me... I have a fa-".
I cut him off mid-sentence with a quick shot to the head. I took the body parts I needed. I moved the corpses near the oven, with was gas powered, turned the gas on, then proceeded to burn the building to the fucking ground. The was a small explosion from the grill. What was left of the corpses would be nothing but ash and bones by now.
I finally had all 5 parts I needed. A torso, 2 arms, 2 legs. I prepared the Pentagram, and told Kristin that I needed her to bring mommy back.
She willingly came with me. I started to worry at this point.
It was in the basement. I told her not to look. I then took a needle and syringe and took a small ammount of her blood. She almost started to cry. Almost.
Now that I had enough blood, I started the ritual. I spilt her blood in the shape of a Pentagram, to start it. The 5 candles lit in a dark red light. Small, unmoving flames. Next thing I knew, the body parts were flying around the room. Last thing I remember was something hitting my head, and I passed out.
When I finally woke up, I was horrified at what I saw. It was Kristin's corpse.
No!, I thought to myself. My daughter... My fucking daughter!
When I got up, I noticed something carved into her arm.
It said YOU'VE MET WITH A TERRIBLE FATE, HAVEN'T YOU?
It was one sentence. One fucking sentence that stripped me of what little sanity I had left.
I knew what I had to do. It was the only way... I couldn't live with myself... even if the ritual worked.
You're a murderer, I told myself. You have to die.
I had two options. Either let the police find me, arrest me, and have me executed, or J do it myself.
My choice was obvious.
I hope the memo of the past 4 months helps explain why I'm dead. I'm sorry... I couldn't handle it... I'd become what I wanted to stop...
I'm sorry Kristin... I'm sorry.